How God knew I broke my body, even though I didn’t.

When I was 14 years old so 16 years ago I made a silly choice and tipped over a full sized quad bike on my home farm, here in Devon. I had a friend of mine on the back as well, and thankfully he fell off first and then managed to drag me off as well. It is likely that the actual bike fell on me and twisted my pelvis out of line. At the time because I wasn’t actually really hurt I didn’t go to hospital, because I was fine!

I just brushed myself off and got on with it, even though the bike its self was written off. Now I think about it and look back all the signs were there! But you don’t see these things when you are young. The first things to start happening was I gained a lot of weight around my hip area, so quickly that the stretch marks that came were red raw and so sore and itchy! My first thought “I am getting fat” the next thing that started happening was I started falling down the stairs, and I spent ages on and off crutches because my ankles kept collapsing. My feet had gone completely flat, and more recently I was told my knee caps had literally disappeared (moved around), which is why I have never liked my knees (they have come back! with cranial therapy)

Anyway my body the amazing instrument it is, must have known that I was going to be a bit of a teen rebel, and spend more time on the floor than standing, after a few to many alcoholic beverages. So it laid down more fat in my bum, thighs, knees. This was therefore where I got my dislike of the bottom half of my body, because my spirit knew that this wasn’t meant to be what my body looked like. God hadn’t intended for my body to look like it did. Because I didn’t know any of this stuff I just went on a body hate rampage! You know what I mean ” these jeans don’t fit” “I am so fat” ” I hate my body” ” I am ugly” you get the picture. When actually I should have been in awe of the fact, my brain had made this protection decision without me essentially knowing!

Even on my wedding day when I had lost a fair bit of weight in preparation the top half of me was a 10 and the bottom was still a 14/16 it looked odd! You can see my tiny top and the legs stayed the same. ( I decided this is to tiny of top I am happy with it as it is a 12) but in my wedding dress it looks lovely as the offending bottom part is covered!

Alex's wedding photos 048

All was well as I had no issues with my ankles anymore or anything like that, my body had gotten its self strong in the wrong way.  2 years after Andrew and I got married I got pregnant with Hayley. The first 3 months I just felt sick but from about 4 months my pelvis started to feel and be a bit weird. Then when I was 5 months pregnant, because at the time my main job was working home on my parents farm with the sheep, I managed to grab a lamb wrong and pull the ligaments and tendons in my left thigh. I carried on but a few weeks later it became apparent that something wasn’t right. I was really struggling to climb the stairs and get in and out of the car.

My midwife mentioned SPD/PGP and sent me to a physio which made it worse! So for the remaining 4 months of pregnancy I just sat and cooked the baby. I couldn’t hoover, carry wet washing, lift anything. In the end I couldn’t even drive because I could have gotten stuck somewhere. It was a dark part of life that should have been the best part, expecting our first baby. A lot of the time (not always) with SPD/PGP you recover within 6 weeks of having the baby, so I held on to the hope of that is what would happen, but it didn’t. I remained on crutches until Hayley was 16 months old, pushing a push chair was fun!

It was during this time after having Hayley when she was 6 months old, I found and joined Tropic a multi level marketing company, selling naturally derived skin care and cosmetics. I used to take my mum along to do the pamper evenings with me, it just fitted so well and gave me something else to concentrate on. I now know that this was no coincidence, and God had a bigger plan for my life. He used that time in my life to STOP me and redirect my path. You maybe thinking if God is so God why did he let it happen? my answer is, I was set to be a farmer I had gone to college, and was working at home, just me mum and dad. Had I have gotten comfy with this part of my life, I wouldn’t have realised my true potential and position, that I have in helping in Gods Kingdom.

Of course when I had joined Tropic, I hadn’t become a believer in Jesus Christ. That didn’t happen for another 2 years until June 2016. Since that point it all makes so much sense to me! Tropic was the reason I didn’t end up on anti depressants, and was able to keep pushing until I found an answer to what was going on. It also created the extra £3500 we needed to fund my private health care of, physio, acupuncture and cranial therapy. Without the extra money and the drive to find out the reason, I am not sure I would have come out sane. The first Christmas I joined Tropic, my body decided it wasn’t going to take any more pain killers, paracetamol, codeine, ibuprofen and I actually think I was addicted, because they just eased the pain enough to keep going with Hayley being small. I came off of all pain killers that Christmas following a mouth full of ulcers, and an upset stomach. I have only ever had the odd paracetamol since, choosing to drink more water or use hot water and relaxation to ease any aches and pains.

When I started walking by faith with Jesus and excepting his Holy Spirit to dwell in my body, almost everything that had happened in my life, became so clear. When I was in my mothers womb, God had whispered all the dreams he had for my life. ” Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jer 1:5

The enemy of course could see as a child where my dreams were leading me, I have no doubt of this as I see things in Hayley, who is 4 now that probably happened to me as well. The enemy’s aim then and now is to set me off track. But God has gotten me back on track, and I am so excited for the journey ahead!

My father who has given them to me, is greater than all;no one can snatch them out of my fathers hand. John 10:29 What a promise, now Jesus has me he shall never let go.

Sending you lots of love

Leanne xx

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